Kids These Days

     I keep trying to tell other parents that I know: kids are different these days.  They are way different than we were as kids.  I had sensed this for quite a while, but now I have evidence.

     As Daisy glided through the tween years and approached thirteen, with no signs of rebellion or major personality changes I grew suspicious.   During the latency phase of childhood I expected open signs of attachment, but I had been bracing for major disruptions as she got into middle school.  Nothing.  Then one day I heard a friend of Daisy’s say to her mother, “I love you, Mom.”  Mel heard it too.  We nodded at each other with approval, thinking that Daisy had made such a nice friend.  But I thought it was an aberration.  Then, a few weeks ago, we were pulled up to the ice rink, and I witnessed another young lady telling her mother that she loved her, as she dragged her figure skates out of the car.  Now, I was intrigued, but figured it could be a coincidence.  However, last week,  at the warm -up for Daisy's lacrosse game, I heard a girl say, “I love you, Mom” out loud and in front of the whole team.  Now this is a pattern!

     When I was thirteen I was separating and surly.   I have checked around, and found that this was pretty typical.  Our generation wanted to get out of the house and away from the parents.  We were filled with angst, and vilified the older generation. Remember: “never trust anyone over thirty”?

     Times have changed, families have changed, and so have the kids.  There are a couple of sociology Profs from the U of M who have been doing longitudinal studies of young people, and they have found that this generation of young people is attached to their parents emotionally, socially and financially.  In other words, these young people are more likely to call their parents for advice than anyone else, would prefer to go to a  family cook-out over other social activities, and feel they can turn to their parents when they need help. 

     We have all heard a lot of kvetching about the “failure to launch” kids.  However, this may be our silver lining.  Think about it – all our child-centered parenting is creating parent centered children!  Talk about family values!  This is the real deal.

     I decided to do some field research, myself, and interviewed Daisy and her older cousin, Winona.  They agreed that saying “I love you, Mom,” is typical behavior for girls their age.  Wow, I thought, how lucky am I – to have those loving children in my Suburban Survival Kit!